Happy August!

I hope you’ve all survived something I’m not so resilient with; the stifling heat during July by keeping hydrated, and or indoors.

In case you are a first-time visitor to Relaxation For Living & More, this blog is one in a series of pieces dedicated to learning to adjust and cope with stress.  Our RFL& More mantra is that many aspects of our lives are out of our control; the decisions or health of friends or family members, work stresses or some of the political movements taking place around us.  Seeking to eliminate stress in its entirety is futile and only leads to further tensions and frustration.

When stress and anxiety are left unchecked within your mind and body they start to eat away at your resilience. Each time stress hits, and you do not fortify yourself you will find that you are less able to deal with it the next time.

Here are a few of the techniques that go down the best in my 1:1 sessions:

The Simple Mindstill

This is a simple technique that can help calm your mind immediately and focus away from unnecessarily negative thoughts as they hit.

  • Get yourself into a comfortable position.
  • Take your mind to a special place – somewhere you feel happy, or relaxed, or safe
  • Give yourself permission to do nothing.
  • Enjoy being in that special space.
  • If your mind wanders gently bring it back to your special place.
  • Stay in your special place for a short time for between 30secs to 1min. If you can stay there for longer great, but even a short spell is enough time.
  • When you return from your special place, carry on calmly and more “in the moment”.

The Stress Roundabout

The stress roundabout is the perpetual cycle that we find ourselves in when we don’t deal with stress as it comes. It can start with a small incident such as a disagreement at work, and then grows into a giant roller coaster without a stop button.

As mentioned in the introduction it is a mistake to try and tackle every stress in your life but by focusing on one area of stress and selecting one exit point you are more likely to achieve a lasting change.


EXIT 1. Balancing Actual Demands: Eg. Time Out. Schedule half an hour every day, or even 10 minutes can help.

EXIT 2. Changing Mental Attitudes: Eg. Understanding. Try and empathise with your boss or a person you are having difficulties. Just for a week.

EXIT 3. Learn Relaxation Skills: Eg. Massage (my favourite). Schedule a massage in one day during the week.

EXIT 4. Lifestyle Review: Eg. Try stopping one bad habit for a week. Perhaps you’ve been sleeping with your mobile phone in the room, or have you been skipping your lunch breaks?

See how you feel at the end of the week.  More resilient?  I bet you are! Why not keep your change and add another exit point?

Resilience is a process that once achieved is a lot easier to manage.  There’s no avoiding stress in this modern world of ours but there are plenty of steps you can take to ensure that it is not life-debilitating. Relaxation for Living and More teach life transforming skills for a better life via our workshops and 1:1 consultation.

Get in touch directly if there’s something I can help you with hazelbate@rfli.co.uk